Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
