I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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