rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
A+ Viking dick
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
