the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
