If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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