I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
