Quick, to the slutcave!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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