she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
