i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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