Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
