Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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