i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
