We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
