Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
