I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
