i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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