I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
ugly people sure do ruin things
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
