sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
