i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
