we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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