R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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