I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
