My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
