Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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