I wanna bring you to show and tell
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
