We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
