im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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