i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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