what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
