Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
