you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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