who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
is it fun? or sober?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
