He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Boobs are out for the taking
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
