in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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