he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
