If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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