I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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