You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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