Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
