If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
