You're completely useless in the revolution.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
...so i touched it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
