I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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