I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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