is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize