Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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