so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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