so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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