guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I need a beard to bite.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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