Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
