can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
