Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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