He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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