Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
