the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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