i just google imaged poop.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
