I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
