No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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