I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I am midnight drunk by noon
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
