No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
