I wanna passion pit in your ass
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
