Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
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