There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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