eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
