A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
