Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
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